Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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