escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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