whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Randomize
