first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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