Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize