He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just high enough for therapy.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
im on a boat
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