I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
