Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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