It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize