So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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