you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
