I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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