I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize