If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
