you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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