Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
