I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
