So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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