think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
After tacos, we're chasing women.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
