this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
