Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
cat food counts as protein by the way
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
