The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
