They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
