they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
