it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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