i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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