I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
