hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
