somebody snuck up and got me drunk
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He felt like a one man threesome
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
