yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
