Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
