ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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