when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
