Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
