I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
