please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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