He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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