Swine flu is the new snow day.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize