i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
