that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
