I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
