i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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