Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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