He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
