Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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