i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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