I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
