Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
