You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
