Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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