i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize