My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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