I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she pinky promised me she was 18
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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