3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
