I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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