Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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