You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
