Tell her she can't have a vagina
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
