So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
