ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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