i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well I just put wine in my tea
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
