At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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