At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
